... ban the use of cell phones weighing more than 190 grams while held in the non-dominant hand of any driver on record of having suffered chicken pox at any time in his/her life, while operating an SUV having a standard deviation in tire pressure exceeding 3 psi in the passing lane, or while operating any vehicle within 500,000 feet of any public school, daycare facility, or nursing home. Violation = $100,000,000 fine.